Feeling stressed? Swing a sledge. Irritated by something in your kitchen that doesn’t work right? Hit it with a sledge. I could go on and on, but I digress.

Just one more thing to say, demolition is pure joy.

We had planned on having a demolition party where all our friends would come over, take their turn hitting a few cabinets and countertops, and when it was all finished, order pizza and open some beer.

Well, you could say our plans sort of went down the drain. It seems everyone who was eager to help had plans of their own. It’s no fault of theirs; we sort of got short notice.

We found out Nov. 29 that the electrician would be arriving Dec. 6 and demolition needed to be complete by Dec. 11. Since we both work, that meant D-Day was Dec. 4., and we still had to pack some things.

We woke up bright and early (about 8 a.m.) Dec. 4, and Eric, my husband, went out to the garage to see if we could find some space for the refrigerator while I set out to finish packing.

While in the garage, Eric made the discovery that the space we had left for the fridge – the one by the electrical outlet and near the door for convenience – wasn’t going to work. You see, the garage door is only about 30 inches wide, clearly not wide enough for the refrigerator to roll through.

So, we were going to have to take the fridge out the front door, (it wouldn’t fit out the back door of the house, either) around the house, through the back gate into the alley, then back in the other end of the garage. Then, we were going to have to string up an extension cord to hook it up.

Ok, so we didn’t think things through carefully enough.

About 10 a.m. we finally got all the stuff out of the kitchen and started taking cabinet doors and drawers out to the dumpster in front of the house. Anthony, a trusty friend and co-worker showed up shortly after 10:30 a.m. to give us a hand.

Anthony has a daughter a little older than Gabe, and we thought it would be a good idea to let them play together while we worked. This worked for a while, but they really wanted to help out, especially Gabe, who already has an affinity for tools, thanks to a summer project of building a playhouse. As you can hear and see in the video, we spent a good deal of time telling Gabe to, “get out of the kitchen.”

We let him break a few things apart, but it just wasn’t enough for a growing boy who wants to be just like Daddy. So, we turned “Finding Nemo” on the big screen and hoped for the best. It worked for a while, but not long enough. You’ll also hear a lot of “go watch ‘Nemo’” in the video, too.

We tore into the part of the kitchen with the sledgehammer and each took turns breaking things apart. It soon became apparent that due to flying debris and the narrowness of the kitchen, three people were one too many in the small space.

I have to say Eric and Anthony did most of the work, and Anthony was far more effective at tearing things up. I think he’s had some practice. I don’t mean to imply that Eric isn’t good at destroying things, but Eric’s experience tends to have more to do with fire than tools. (Don’t ask about the bar stools that disappeared after one of our Halloween parties. Those of you who know him understand what I’m talking about.)

I spent my time keeping the kids and dogs out of harm’s way, as well as hauling out wheelbarrows full of debris.

We were actually pretty surprised at how well constructed the cabinets were. First of all, they were nailed into the studs instead of screwed in, which slowed us down a bit, but once we got going, the walls came tumbling down.

We finally got to the point where we needed to disconnect the plumbing so we could work on the bottom cabinets. Boy did we get a surprise when we tore out the drainpipe. It’s no wonder the sink drained so slowly. There was less than an inch for the water to pass through. The rest was some horrible smelling black gunk. We quickly taped off the pipe so we didn’t have to sniff the stuff the entire day.

About noon, we took a break so Anthony could take his daughter back home for her nap. There’s just something about banging on the walls that isn’t too conducive to a nap.

While Anthony was gone, Eric and I tried our hand at tearing out the tile backsplash and counters and getting rid of the sink. We did a pretty good job on the countertop, but the backsplash was a bit more stubborn. The counter top would have come out in two portions, but we couldn’t lift it, so we busted it up into three and hauled it out. Then we proceeded to rip out the rest of the cabinets.

When Anthony returned, we ordered up some pizza and went back to work while we waited. Again, Anthony proved much more efficient than either of us. In the next hour, while we waited for the pizza, he and Eric made quick work of the lower cabinets.

We soon realized, however, that our main problem was the fact that the lower cabinets were built out of 1X12 solid pieces of wood instead of particleboard, which we expected. The cabinet base also was one solid piece, which meant we couldn’t turn around the corners to get it out of the house.

We had to pull out the window screens and carry it out the large windows in the back of the house. Once this was done, it was on to the other side of the kitchen and time to take out the appliances.

The stove was easy. Slide it onto the dolly and whoosh; it’s out to the garage. The pizza showed up after that, but we decided to take out the refrigerator before we rewarded ourselves with food.

We loaded up the cooler with as much as we could, then took out everything breakable. The rest got carted out the door right inside the fridge. It was a bit cumbersome to get through the doorway, so we had to walk it into the dining room before we put it on the dolly. Unfortunately it left a few scratches on the hardwood floors that are going to need fixing. Once out the front door, wheeling it around to the garage and plugging it in wasn’t too bad.

Finally, about 2 p.m., we got our pizza and beer.

Then it was back to work tearing out the other half of the kitchen. This side was much easier. The particleboard we were expecting finally made and appearance, and this entire side of the kitchen took about 20 minutes to tear apart. Now, the only thing left was the rest of the backsplash.

I ended up having to go into work for a bit, so I didn’t get to see the end of the actual demolition. I took Gabe with me to keep him out of their way. When I returned everything was done, except for removing the floor, which we had an entire week to finish. So, we worked form about 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. – eight hours – not too bad for a day’s work.

The guys did a great job. I just wish I could have helped more. And, we would never have gotten it done without Anthony’s help.

Oh, by the way, Anthony is the guy who put together all the cool video to accompany this blog. He’s my hero. :)