A few days ago we were given the news that one of the IA leaders was killed by machine-gun fire,I can't tell you his name but can tell you he was a good man.Two days before he was ambushed I was working on the rifle range with him and his men,he had a very pleasant smile and was a little chubby.I best remember when he walked up to me and said "Excuse me Seargent,it's time for me to leave and I need an escort to the gate". I was impressed with his language skills and his sincere effort to be respectful.He had been on the range simply to check on the welfare of his soldiers and had taken a long time with them,this showed his willingness to sacrafice for his subordinates.

The next morning I was at his base doing some convoy escort duty and felt the prescence of someone watching me, you know that sixth sense type of feeling, I looked up and he was standing near some steps and called out to me "Good morning Seargent,how are you?"
I said "Fine, and you?" he just smiled and waved.The next morning we were told that he was gunned down on his way to work,his driver survived but our Iraqi friend left behind a wife and four children,one an infant,he was a good man.

Our command has made a promise to his family that we will catch those responsible for his murder and I can only hope they resist.Two days after the shooting I was gunning in one of our vehicles when we stopped at the Iraqi base Mawntini to pick up some IA soldiers, as fate would have it they rode with me in my gun nest. I took advantage
and started speaking Arab to them. At a stop I went to the rest room and when I returned one of them had found my desert hat and was wearing it, he asked if I would make a gift of it to which I said "La Areed" or "No, I need that".He was really enjoying my hat and the others seemed to be enjoying themselves at which point I asked about the recent killing.One of the men attempted to tell me that their leader was dead by closing his eyes and slowly tilting his head to the side. I told them I understood and was sorry for their loss and then found out that the guy wearing my hat was going to the American hospital to visit his wounded brother,the other person in the attack. I learned that the survivor had taken three AK-47 rounds to the side of his body. I do know that if it had beenone of my brothers that had almost been killed I wouldn't have been to friendly.

I want to mention that the man back in March that lost his eight month old daughter to a fire bombing is still in the IA. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for these people,no matter what the press decides to put on the headlines, these people will not
allow themselves to be intimidated. As a whole the people of Iraq continue to work towards independence and need our support. I've talked to numerous Iraqis about the threat of violence to them and they all say the same thing,they do what they do for their families.

Most of these soldiers are farmers that tend their fields every night after the completion of their soldier duties.It is not unusual to find a soldier with two wives and ten kids,so they have alot of providing to do. I can only hope the wholsale violence against these people comes to a relative end soon,they're all good men.

On a completly different note I'd like to mention that we had a recent visit from our Commanding General and as usual there was an awful lot of posturing going on before his arrival and we were told that he was there out of concern for the average soldier,and that he would also be talking to us directly to get that feedback vital to soldier well being. When he arrived with his mandatory entourage he also had the PA people there,Public Affairs. Of course they took the pictures of the General eating with the "Average Joe" and there was plenty of food. The strange thing was that he never asked me or any other "Average Joe" a single question. I expected exactly that and was not the least bit suprised. I won't say anything that might be considered disrepectful and live the reader to guess my conclusion on
the sincerity of the visit.

That's all for now from sunny Iraq and here's the word for today
Indux suall - any questions?

By the way,I recently recieved some messages from some of you with regards to familiy here at O'Ryan and want to respond.To Mrs. Burrier I will soon post a picture of a little girl that recieved a Barney and a Bunny stuffed animal while we were on patrol,I don't know the name of the soldier that handed out those gifts but he sure made several children very,very happy on that day.And it may have been in violation of policy but like I said,we're American and don't see children as killing machines or terrorist.

I've also not met anyone else named Watkins here.I do know the guys here from Tennesse and Wisconsin are doing a great job and all really seem to take care of each other,we're all we've got.And for the most part spirits are high and all is well.

I did recently have some jerk try to tell me not to even say hello to children or explain why we aren't allowed to give them water and food.I told him to "shut up and quit being such a jerk,I will not act like children don't matter.If you got a problem with hungry kids asking for food,that's your problem.I don't care if President Bush tells me to ignore kids,I will not ignore them,it's not their fault."

This is part of the problem with alot of the Gaurdsmen and
reservist here is that they have no idea how to win a counter-insurgent operation and want to treat everyone as hostiles.Most of us here don't see it that way,it's just that alot of the people sent here never should have been sent.But since they have been sent and they've been around forever they get put in charge of alot and don't know how to handle it.After six months of training before getting here most soldiers were never taught simple phrases and don't have the ability to relate to the people of Iraq,thank you military brass for being so prudent in planning.And I really think it just irked this guy that I could talk to children in Arabic.

I will try to stay up on these entries but life on the FOB just doesn't go according to my preference.Take care everyone and we will see all of you at the rally point - "HOME"

The heat here is really starting to pick up,last week we hit a hundred and fifteen degrees and expect it to reach one-thirty eventually. The insurgent activity is definetly on the rise with an obvious increase in roadside bombings.As a simple Infantry Seargent this is very frustrating because we know almost exactly where we are going to get hit,the area anyway,and almost every other day.So I don't understand why we can't catch these guys in the act.There is one specific method that the Infantry can do and to my knowledge we almost never,if at all, perform it.I can't get into specifics on the technique itself but suffice it to say from all the people I've talked to outside the wire we just don't try it.I think that part of the reason is fear of U.S. casualties and lack of experience on the part of the National Gaurd leadership.People forget that for most of the last thirty or forty years National Gaurdsmen were famous for being ill prepared and unskilled,hence the term "weekend warrior".
And I want to be clear it's those "leaders" that have been around thirty or more years that lack the experience.This might sound like a contradiction in terms but it's not.Longevity is not, in itself,an indicator of experience.

I will say that we are far too dependent on technology and the push button warrior.We rarely want to move more than a few hundred meters from our armored cocoons and lack the physical ability to pursue those that would attack us.I know this because in the four monnths of "Combat readiness" training I went through to get here in Iraq I was only required to excersise three times,most of the six hundred people I trained with could not pass the Army physical fitness test,yet here we are getting attacked on a daily basis.And with the situation getting more active I hope we do something soon rather than just wait to get hit,as we seem to be doing.

As we prepare to let the Iraqi Army take over I can't help but wonder when we are going to rally go after the insurgents like we mean business.I know up north where the Marines and active duty units operate the tempo is very aggressive and that's one of the reason I wonder what the hold up is here.Unfortunatley this operation here in Iraq is being run in the press and that was one of my biggest fears coming here.I know and understand that the last thing anyone wants to see is a repeat of the "Somalia" incident.If we get bolder at going after these guys we will have to take some risks and too many politicians are wearing Army uniforms for that to happen.So what in turn happens is we die from a thousand cuts very slowly,it's nothing new it was done in many insurgent and guerilla type actions throughout history.It's just shown on the Internet in minutes and people can't handle the truth.But what can we do other then live day to day and adjust accordingly,politicians make war and soldiers fight them.

This brings up another concern of mine.I often times here that we are at "WAR" and that we are on "Battlefields",it all sounds very dramatic and definetly stirs up strong emotions,but from my gunners view I don't see it that way.This is a very violent place and death comes daily,but this is an insurgency not a "WAR".The biggest reason is that there is no National objective or standing military to defeat.
What we have here are terrorist cells and extremist groups that want to destablize the current Government.It just so much more effective politically to say we as a nation are at war.And the Generals can get so much more from politicians.If we start calling it what it really is
,a counter-insurgent operation,memories of Vietnam come into play.Sorry,but that's apples and oranges and the comparison need not be made.But because the unenlighted will make that jump we say we're at "WAR". I also want to be clear here,I FULLY support or efforts here in Iraq and am prepared to lay down my life for the hope of tomorrow,I just wish people in charge had their act together.

I'm fortunate to work and live with some of the greatest people on earth,American soldiers and just want us all to come home after a job well done.To drive down the MSRs and wait to get hit is not what we deserve,we need to go get these guys and stop worrying about photos turning up on the Internet and our hands getting tied by political reactions from Military politicans.

Recently I was talking with some fellow soldiers on the topic of who we could trust in Iraq and just how much trust we should have in those that appear to be friendly. We also discussed our purpose in Iraq and what part we, as individuals, play in it's future and its people. I then felt the need to remind them of the fact that one soldier in the right place, at the right time, can change history. Of course I got some chuckles out of the statement but had to tell them the story of "Operation little viddles." I personally believe it should be applied to Iraq, or at least remembered by us here in Iraq.

Some years back I was watching the "History Channel" and they had a documentry on the Berlin airlift of 1946 and focused on the German people and the effect the airlift had on them.

In 1946, Germany was still badly war torn and had been separated into four sections American, French, British and Soviet. As per the Yalta agreement, Berlin was also cut into four pieces. However, Berlin was in the center of the Soviet portion of Germany and had become a thorn in the side of Joeseph Stalin and his quest for European domination. He decided to encircle Berlin, deny all rail and road access to the city, and starve the citizens of Berlin to death, forcing the allies to leave Berlin to the Soviets.

Enter the Berlin airlift and the nickname "Operation Viddles." Everything that was needed was brought in by airplane, and that meant everything -- food, milk, coal, clothing, medicine, tools -- everything. This was 24 hours a day and lead by the Americans. Americans would not abandon the people of Berlin ("Ich bin ein Berliner").

The children of Berlin would always wait at the end of the runaway of Berlin airport to wave and smile at the Americans. In the documentry one of those "children" then five now sixty-five, told their story. One American soldier in those thousands of airplanes one day decided to start throwing out chocolate and gum to the kids at the end of the runway. They stood on the outside of barbed wire much like here in Iraq.(Of course just like here in Iraq some high ranking member of the officer corps made it policy to not give the children any items not issued by the government.And they had their politically correct reasons also,blackmarket,crime and danger to the Americans and German children.}

Well soon word got out to the other children about the American generosity and the chocolate and gum falling from the sky,you can imagine the swarms of hungry children waiting for the Americans everyday,just like Iraq.The woman that was being interviewed said that people forget that German children were the innocent children of war and most had never had chocolate.This little German girl was one of the lucky ones that got a candybar of chocolate one day.She had shared all that she could with the others but the wrapper was hers to keep.She said it was the best chocolate in the world,"Hersheys",and the wrapper she folded neatly and kept near her bed,each night she would unwrap it, smell the choclate rewrap it, and dream of the place it came from,America,and wondered about those kind hearted people that risked so much to bring chocolate to children.

Soon the word caught on to all allies and the name "Operation little viddles" was born.Operation "Little viddles" had gotten real momentum when some Officer found out that "Official Policy" was being violated by the average soldier on a daily basis,this would not do.They tried to stop "Little Viddles" but the news had gotten to the States by now and was allowed to continue.

That little girl and her entire generation were deeply affected by the act of one soldier, as were ensuing generations.The Generals, being political then as they are now, backed off their reasons and took credit for what Americans do naturally.I often wonder as we drive down our own "Little viddles road" what impact each one of us is to have on this generation of Iraqi children.I am not allowed to carry the candy by my bullets anymore or face serious discipinary action by superiors,too bad.

The one PC excuse that is always given is the it's a risk to not only us but the children themselves,so whom can argue with that reasoning,I can.As I said before many of the children stand close enough to touch,check ou my pictures in earlier blogs.Without giving specifics I can say that it is virtually impossible for an IED or VBIED to come with a mile or more of our ECP.The chldren stand near our gaurds for hours in the hot sun and are never told to leave,it's their parents farm land they stand on.It is the exact same parents and children everyday,no strangers allowed,and therefore no hard threat,if at all.

Now the policy I agree with is outside the wire on the road don't throw things because the kids will rush across the street into traffic and risk getting hit by cross traffic.Also were large groups gather and there's heavy foot traffic there's the risk of suicide vests as what we see in places like Bagdad.

But at a gate in front of numerous heavy weapons like machine guns,rocket launchers,cannons,rifles,observation equipment and so on.And a six year old girl and her two baby brothers standing five feet away,give me a break.But some high ranking Officer made the call and we must follow the order,just life in the theatre of operations,Iraq.And suffice it to say that no matter what "official" policy was then or is now,"Operation Little Viddles" lives on.We just can't help being Americans.

IS TODAY THE DAY? That is what the very large sign at the north ECP says (Entry Control Point). It always sets the mind to contemplate the possibilities of such a vague phrase. Over here in Iraq, for me, it means a lot of things all revolving around the two main possibilities, killing and being killed. Or maybe even, "Is today the day that is to be my last?" Friday May the 6th was "THE DAY" I won't soon forget, for it was the day someone tried to kill me, my driver and gunner with an IED (Improvised Explosive Device).

We operate in the southern and middle portion of the Sunni Triangle and "leave the wire" often. It's the job. One always wonders if this will be my last day on earth? Are my personal affairs in order? Does everyone know how I feel about them? Did I make sure they understood? Did I prepare for contact with the enemy properly? Did I turn off the coffee pot? Honestly, I often make sure all my personal belongings are prepared for the "next of kin" box. Your mind races, and you try to think of everything, yet not dwell on it. You've got a job to do. I imagine it's much the same for police officers. Don't get complacent and be ready.

The day was a very hot one, and we arrived at our original destination with no real problems, except one. A group of Iraqi vehicles purposely slowed all the traffic behind us or "backed them off." We thought at first they were just helping us out, but I also had to wonder if they were setting us up for an ambush and were simply protecting civilians. I put the word out on the radio, and we kept up our security.

On the return trip, we were stopped at a security checkpoint, then went around it. Next, as we passed an American FOB, we heard two cannon rounds and small arms fire in the distance to our rear. Today was very active. We then came upon another American roadblock and had to get out of the vehicle and keep watch for possible rocket or small arms fire. We were getting kind of antsy because too many things out of the ordinary were happening. It turns out that this particular roadblock was there as a result of two earlier explosions. Our group leader decided that we would go off the road and detour around the activity to reach our FOB. We were northbound and close to home when we passed under an overpass, took evasive moves and continued down the road. At this particular site, there is a very beautiful Mosque just to the left as you enter the city limits It always catches your eye It's powder blue and gold.

There was a flash and very loud explosion just to our left. I saw the vehicle in front of us continue straight ahead without wavering. We were the last of four Humvees. We had been hit by an IED and shrapnel, and debris hit us broadside with a thump. I yelled out "Is everyone OK!" I heard my driver say "I'm OK" I then grabbed my gunner's leg and squeezing hard said the same. He was also OK. The gunner was the most exposed since they stand in a turret and must maintain a 360 degree watch. I then picked up the hand mic and transmitted "IED, IED we've been hit. No personnel causalities. Damage to the windsheilds, both shattered. We have maintained speed and will Charlie Mike, over" (Continue Mission). I was then told to pull over and make a full damage and casualty assessment. This was to ensure there was no severe, yet unseen, damage that would cause us harm at our current rate of speed. It also was to ensure the gunner was not wounded. Everyone was on an adrenaline rush.

As we pulled over, I again stated all was well and stepped out to make an exterior check. As I did this the No. 3 vehicle came back to us, passed us and pulled security to our rear. I got to the driver side of the vehicle and saw what seemed to be AK-47 rounds. As I analyzed the rounds, I suddenly thought "You idiot, if these are machine gun rounds your looking at, your showing them your back as a target!" I quickly moved back to my position near the right side and dropped to a knee and scanned the perimeter for threats. Just on the other side of the road was a man and small boy sitting there looking at us. I felt for some reason he may have had something to do with the blast. I wanted to go after him and ask him questions, but it was too dangerous. My own tactical assessment was that we were sitting ducks for an RPG attack and machine gun assault.
My higher element had called in the reactionary force, and we would sit and wait for them.

Of course we had shut down the road both ways, and people were wanting to go around us. This would not be allowed. Tension was very high, and at that moment, the whole world was a threat. Within minutes help had arrived, and we were back on our way. I felt very angry that the people I was so fond of had just tried to kill me and couldn't see being very nice for awhile. As we neared the base, I started seeing the children again -- the faithful ones that are always there to greet us with waives and smiles. It didn't help. Then I saw that same little girl in the purple dress with white lace around the neck. She's probably only 4 or 5e years old and has never changed that dress and is always barefoot. She was not at fault for what happened and neither were any of the others. I remembered that incredible feeling of self worth and destiny that I always get seeing the children and smiled. They are my angels and will not let me lose my humanity, which is my biggest fear.

As we rolled up to the gate I saw several other children waiting for us and begging for food. I didn't have any treats with me since I have been reprimanded for feeding the children twice already. I did speak to them and was later scolded because it seemed I was giving them candy or food, thereby in violation of some Army Generals order.(I will get into this topic soon in "Little Viddles" and share what may seem like hypocrisy and politics here.) The sad thing is that the kids are only 5 feet from us at this point, and we are standing still. There is absolutely NO REASON whatsoever for not feeding the kids, other then some poor excuse for security. It's hogwash and nothing more than overgrown babies playing hard ass with children.

People were asking me how I felt right after the blast hit us. I mainly felt relief that I was alive, yet I now know that I will be shot at and go through many more explosions to get home. It's almost as easy as just knowing that tomorrow is not certain, and we must all live for today. I'm darn sure I don't want my last day to be completely filled with hatred. After all, those that want me and the rest of us dead don't know us, so it can't be personal. Killing in wartime is the most personal impersonal thing that can happen.

So try this out. Tomorrow morning, put yourself in our shoes and before you walk out that door ask yourself "IS TODAY THE DAY?"

Recently while conducting IA training, I heard a loud explosion and moved to high ground to try and see where it came from. I saw a very large plume of black smoke coming from the the other instructor and I wondered aloud if one of our patrols or convoys had been hit. It was near an MSR (Main Supply Route).

We would find out later that that's exactly what had happened, only this one was more like a classic Kamikaze attack. Some of our guys were at an IA checkpoint when a insurgent VBIED ( Vehicle Borne Improvised Explosive Device) spotted them and just sped up to try to ram them. He didn't make it. Our guys fired him up and killed him, so he lost control and exploded across the street from them.

Not soon after a second VBIED came at the Americans that were protecting the explosion site with the same results, only a few Iraqi bystanders were wounded. It seems they were both on their way to another city to deliver these bombs and panicked when they saw our troops They probably knew they would be captured and fail, so they went to plan B -- suicide.

The local LSA had six mortar rounds fall inside the compound and actually land near troops, but all of those rounds failed to explode A lot of the ammo these people have is garbage and never explodes.

I have felt like we are being probed for weaknesses lately. I've been gunning in the lead vehicle and have come close to pulling on these people because they haven't been yielding the right of way as quickly as before. They know that we will shoot if they violate a certain "No closer than" distance. An insurgent will pay a civilian to test us and really doesn't care if we kill them. They just want to know if we will lower our safety standards long enough for them to get close enough to kill one of us. I actually had to stand up and prepare to shoot a car full of civilians because they clearly violated the no-enter zone. In fact, I should have fired in front of the vehicles, it was close. I know from the looks on their faces they were pretty scared -- good. I hope they never get that close again.

The insurgents are coming out with new directional explosives, which as we pass, we can be fired on from the weak flank. It's a sign of how desperate things are for them. They are losing support every day, and every day we get closer to coming home.

Aku inak kamin - Is their an ambush ahead ?