IS TODAY THE DAY? That is what the very large sign at the north ECP says (Entry Control Point). It always sets the mind to contemplate the possibilities of such a vague phrase. Over here in Iraq, for me, it means a lot of things all revolving around the two main possibilities, killing and being killed. Or maybe even, "Is today the day that is to be my last?" Friday May the 6th was "THE DAY" I won't soon forget, for it was the day someone tried to kill me, my driver and gunner with an IED (Improvised Explosive Device).

We operate in the southern and middle portion of the Sunni Triangle and "leave the wire" often. It's the job. One always wonders if this will be my last day on earth? Are my personal affairs in order? Does everyone know how I feel about them? Did I make sure they understood? Did I prepare for contact with the enemy properly? Did I turn off the coffee pot? Honestly, I often make sure all my personal belongings are prepared for the "next of kin" box. Your mind races, and you try to think of everything, yet not dwell on it. You've got a job to do. I imagine it's much the same for police officers. Don't get complacent and be ready.

The day was a very hot one, and we arrived at our original destination with no real problems, except one. A group of Iraqi vehicles purposely slowed all the traffic behind us or "backed them off." We thought at first they were just helping us out, but I also had to wonder if they were setting us up for an ambush and were simply protecting civilians. I put the word out on the radio, and we kept up our security.

On the return trip, we were stopped at a security checkpoint, then went around it. Next, as we passed an American FOB, we heard two cannon rounds and small arms fire in the distance to our rear. Today was very active. We then came upon another American roadblock and had to get out of the vehicle and keep watch for possible rocket or small arms fire. We were getting kind of antsy because too many things out of the ordinary were happening. It turns out that this particular roadblock was there as a result of two earlier explosions. Our group leader decided that we would go off the road and detour around the activity to reach our FOB. We were northbound and close to home when we passed under an overpass, took evasive moves and continued down the road. At this particular site, there is a very beautiful Mosque just to the left as you enter the city limits It always catches your eye It's powder blue and gold.

There was a flash and very loud explosion just to our left. I saw the vehicle in front of us continue straight ahead without wavering. We were the last of four Humvees. We had been hit by an IED and shrapnel, and debris hit us broadside with a thump. I yelled out "Is everyone OK!" I heard my driver say "I'm OK" I then grabbed my gunner's leg and squeezing hard said the same. He was also OK. The gunner was the most exposed since they stand in a turret and must maintain a 360 degree watch. I then picked up the hand mic and transmitted "IED, IED we've been hit. No personnel causalities. Damage to the windsheilds, both shattered. We have maintained speed and will Charlie Mike, over" (Continue Mission). I was then told to pull over and make a full damage and casualty assessment. This was to ensure there was no severe, yet unseen, damage that would cause us harm at our current rate of speed. It also was to ensure the gunner was not wounded. Everyone was on an adrenaline rush.

As we pulled over, I again stated all was well and stepped out to make an exterior check. As I did this the No. 3 vehicle came back to us, passed us and pulled security to our rear. I got to the driver side of the vehicle and saw what seemed to be AK-47 rounds. As I analyzed the rounds, I suddenly thought "You idiot, if these are machine gun rounds your looking at, your showing them your back as a target!" I quickly moved back to my position near the right side and dropped to a knee and scanned the perimeter for threats. Just on the other side of the road was a man and small boy sitting there looking at us. I felt for some reason he may have had something to do with the blast. I wanted to go after him and ask him questions, but it was too dangerous. My own tactical assessment was that we were sitting ducks for an RPG attack and machine gun assault.
My higher element had called in the reactionary force, and we would sit and wait for them.

Of course we had shut down the road both ways, and people were wanting to go around us. This would not be allowed. Tension was very high, and at that moment, the whole world was a threat. Within minutes help had arrived, and we were back on our way. I felt very angry that the people I was so fond of had just tried to kill me and couldn't see being very nice for awhile. As we neared the base, I started seeing the children again -- the faithful ones that are always there to greet us with waives and smiles. It didn't help. Then I saw that same little girl in the purple dress with white lace around the neck. She's probably only 4 or 5e years old and has never changed that dress and is always barefoot. She was not at fault for what happened and neither were any of the others. I remembered that incredible feeling of self worth and destiny that I always get seeing the children and smiled. They are my angels and will not let me lose my humanity, which is my biggest fear.

As we rolled up to the gate I saw several other children waiting for us and begging for food. I didn't have any treats with me since I have been reprimanded for feeding the children twice already. I did speak to them and was later scolded because it seemed I was giving them candy or food, thereby in violation of some Army Generals order.(I will get into this topic soon in "Little Viddles" and share what may seem like hypocrisy and politics here.) The sad thing is that the kids are only 5 feet from us at this point, and we are standing still. There is absolutely NO REASON whatsoever for not feeding the kids, other then some poor excuse for security. It's hogwash and nothing more than overgrown babies playing hard ass with children.

People were asking me how I felt right after the blast hit us. I mainly felt relief that I was alive, yet I now know that I will be shot at and go through many more explosions to get home. It's almost as easy as just knowing that tomorrow is not certain, and we must all live for today. I'm darn sure I don't want my last day to be completely filled with hatred. After all, those that want me and the rest of us dead don't know us, so it can't be personal. Killing in wartime is the most personal impersonal thing that can happen.

So try this out. Tomorrow morning, put yourself in our shoes and before you walk out that door ask yourself "IS TODAY THE DAY?"