I have recently recieved alot of response from people that have loved ones here and must say that I never imagined that my website would be accessable to so many people. On the one hand it is nice to know that my site has eased the concerns of so many, on the other hand I have been told that people are more worried then before since now they have iformation their loved ones have chosen not to share. It is clear that individuals have decided some information is best not shared and I do not have the right to violate that reasoning, it was never my intention to do so. I started this site so those closest to me would know exactly what we as soldiers go thru and not be subjected to the bias of news agencies and political spin doctors.

I may either end this site or be oredered to stop sending such open messages. I have tried to be vague and want to say that this is a very dangerous place period. But what everyone should know is that the spirit of those here is of great comfort to all in harms way. There is a very particular closeness that exist here at the FOB that can not be found anywhere else. I have the highest level of respect for the average soldier and see what a great job they have done and will continue to do. My concern is for situations like the "Pat Tillman" issue and the politicians that lied about it, people should have access to the truth and the only ones that really know it are the rank and file soldiers not those that contemplate their own futures first.

I love the Army and being in the company of soldiers and will do my personal best to maintain the level of integrity so common here on O'Ryan, and will not let those that would tarnish what these men have done go unmentioned, the politicians in uniform.

So I would like to make the choice on my own whether or not to end this blog and see it as a morale decision. But just about everything that happens here goes along those lines. I know that should I not make it home this site had to have been "the truth".

Does the idea of roasting a 200 pound pig in the company of a dozen Muslims in a Muslim country sound like something wise to do ?
And the fact that these Muslims have stated their distain for such things, will this help with our future in Iraq or posibble put more of us in danger by showing such contempt for those we are here to help?. This definetly wasn't something most of us wanted but came down to politics. One would think with all the fuss over the "Koran" at Guantanamo Bay and the Muslim faith we would have not done so, not the case at all. Just another quick example, sorry.

Today started out like just about every other day. We got up had breakfast and excercise then gathered our things and went to the ECP
(Entry Control Point) to meet with the guys from Wisconsin or Tennesse and leave the wire on patrol. As usual the IA was late and we just kinda sat around talking and joking. We finally met up with our counterparts in the IA, they had failed to bring any water for their men so Uncle Sam helped out, yesterday it was fuel they forgot.

As we rolled out the ECP onto the hardball (paved road) a voice came over the radio speaker,usually the voices are very military and not much for animation just quick and clear,this mans voice was clearly troubled, almost sad. The part that jumped out was "A child has been shot in the head and we don't know if he's going to make it".
There was alot more said but it was obvious what had caused such duress. All of us in the vehicle let out a collective "Damn it". It is the most difficult of things to endure, the children being hurt.

Just a few minutes later we came upon what seemed a traffic stop, but it was the wounded child. We were waved through and as we got closer I could see a small white pickup with American soldiers all around it and providing protection while our medical personel worked frantically to save the childs life. It's something that everyone here understands, espescially the Iraqis, if I child is hurt take them to the Americans, they will help. The child was a young boy perhaps fifteen or so, he was drenched in blood and things looked very bad. We took a passing glance,cursed out loud and went back to work. The boy did not survive and it was not Americans that shot him.

About two hours later we found ourselves at one of our very familiar villages and of course all the kids gathered and started with "Mister, mister give me mangaria". As the gunner and I explained to the kids we had no candy today and maybe tomorrow we heard some more disturbing things on the radio. Another voice came over and said "Someone get a hold of those idiots leaving LSA Anaconda,some civilian truck driver is throwning candy on the street and kids are almost getting hit, tell them to stop". My gunner let out a very loud
"F---ing morons". The road in question is the one I've often written about and refer to as "Little vittles road". Within three minutes the voice came back and said "Jesus,they just hit a kid". There was a flurry of activity on the radio trying to confirm what was said. Later in the day after our mission was complete we were told a child had been killed. Today was a horrible day and a day best forgotton but we won't be able to do that, and I won't want to talk about it again.

As I sat in the vehicle and talked to the little kids gathered at my feet, a little boy was holding my hand, I wondered about the last couple of days and the months ahead and hoped that none of these kids would ever forget they we came with kindness and never meant for any children to get hurt. I got alot of candy and stuffed animals yet to share but must remember there's a time and place.

Often times when one hears something so absurd it's difficult not to just blurt out "I'd like that in writing". But here I seem to hear such things all too often, and it's most disturbing when it comes from a person in a position to get me killed or hurt. Here's a few examples of what authority gone awry can do.

We recently were given an update on current activity in the area, as if going outside the wire everyday for two months wasn't enough, and the question was brought up of what to do when children playing near the street pass in front of one of our vehicles. As I've mentioned before the kids will line the roads going into Anaconda in hopes of recieving drinks and food. I've also mentioned the fact that this is one of the safest places in Iraq. Well, this guy in charge gets up in front of us and tells all of us present that he is directing all drivers to act as if the kids don't exist. He even said that we are to accelerate in anticipation of them crossing. This mans logic being that the kids will learn to fear all American vehicles and understand we will kill them with our eleven thousand pound death machines. This man went on to tell us how tragic it would be to crush a six year old baby to death but, we are at WAR!! And since we can't compromise the safety of the three to five Americans inside the heavily armored vehicles that protect us from bomb blasts and machine gun fire we're justified in killing unarmed children begging for food. I would love to get such pathetic examples of leadership in black and white so all of you wouldn't find this so hard to believe. There's alot more that this particular person has directed us to do and not do that defies reason. The consolation here is that virtually every person in the room will ignore such idiocy. The guys all just stared straight ahead and took it for what it was worth. But this guy is in a posistion to issue directives that will get us killed. The really said thing is I can't recall this guy ever going on a single comabat patrol.

What this guy also ignores is the fact that there always seems to be some soldier being prosecuted for conduct and being faced with ten to twenty years of prison. Any person that runs over a child and even speeds up to do it should get the chair. But this is why we can't ask for such things in writing because it is illegal to do such things and this man knows it, as do we. I just don't understand such fools that think the average American would allow such conduct, and yet this guy is in charge. I will probably give all of you his name as time permits, but it won't be for a very long time. I'm holding out hope that the people in charge of our operation will recognize the mistake and correct it, as is the nature of things.

This person has also confiscated personal items from soldiers that were intended for the children of Iraq and given them to the Army G5, this is the group of people that come up with things like the "Pat Tillman" story or mis-information. G5 is bacically the Armys version of a spin doctor or propagandist. They basically try to be politically correct and make things sound as though we live in a perfect world and won't ever admit error when it's right to do so.

The soldiers belongings were consficated so G5 could plan a day where they could out out to the local villages with the Army PAO (Public Affairs Dept) hand out all the gifts, take pictures of all the G5 and official "Heroes" and get themselves some humanatarian awards. At least that's how we see it. This guy chewed all of us out and said that by going into villages and handing out toys,food,cloths,shoes and candy we would, in effect, be destroying the future of Iraqs economy and creating a welfare state. He also said that as soon as we leave the area roving bands of insurgents would find all the children with American items and kill them. It's like I said "Can I get that in writing?".

There are a few problems with always handing out things to the kids but destroying the National infrastructure is not one of them. One problem is that there never is enough to go around and some kids will fight over candy. Another is that they do tend to chase after vehicles and when stopped crowd us to the point of possibly getting hurt when we leave. What the people at G5 and other REMF units don't understand is that these kids are the future of Iraq and someday they will help us defeat the tyrants of the world. We also go into villages where we are very welcome and have forged positive relationships with the local populace.

One of the biggest problems we still have and I've mentioned this several times, is the inability to speak Arabic. The Army has had close to one year to teach the basic language to everyone currently deployed and has failed misrably, but don't ask the PAO for a straight answer because it just won't happen. I am able to tell the children things like "Please form a line and everyone gets one present or candy, but no talking". And "You have your candy now go home or there won't be anymore all week" saying this disperses the crowd and maintains control, it also prevents the frenzy for candy.

It's just a shame that so many of us must take directives from people that don't have a clue as to what goes on outside the wire.

There's one thing I must mention that the G5 and PAO will tell people that is true and used to justify their conduct and directives. Within the last year in Northern Iraq while handing out gifts and candy in a school yard, a suicide bomber struck and killed about thirty children that were gathered for the gift giveaway. The problem was that it was advertised and security was almost non-existant, an insurgents dream. In our case our arrivals are never pre-arrainged
and we usually leave within minutes. We can't have everything and there really is no point to being mean to kids,trust me on this one
we're doing the right thing.

And finally I must mention the IA. They are very much like the kids and are constantly asking us for things. I even had a few tell me not to give things to the kids but to them. And I even see the IA argueing about who gets to ask the Americans for things today. Although I don't mind given them small gifts it gets annoying when it is expected everyday. But I try to remember these people have lived under a dictator for thirty years and several generations have no idea what democracy can do for them, so it's kinda "Get it while you can because the Americans will leave someday, then what". But I think they'll do just fine.

Everytime we ride through the local area, whether it's through the villages or along the canal roads that nourish the local farmland, we always have large amounts of children chasing us or just waving frantically as we roll by. And they always say the same thing "Mangaria, mangaria, mister, mister, mangaria!". This basically means "give us candy", some how the children of Iraq have come to believe all American soldiers have candy and will give it just for the asking, I wonder how that could have happened. I think that it is a result of what has happened here over the first two years of our being here. It is really something everyone back home should see just one time. It is truly heartwarming.

On a recent patrol we passed by a burning dog, it was obvious that gasoline had been poured on the carcass and set ablaze. As it turns out, it was we Americans that did this, and for good reason. What the insurgents have been doing to animal carcasses is cutting them open and inserting large amounts of explosives inside and replacing them near the roads edge. As we drive by the bomb it's set off in the futile hope that Americans will be hurt or killed. So to deny insurgents the chance we set all carcasses ablaze until useless.

I have recieved many comments in reference to others here on O'Ryan and want to thank all who sent comments. It should be mentioned thar this is a very large FOB,area wise, and we all live in bunkers up to a mile apart and it is difficult to identify indivivduals but I'll still try. We did get invited to a BBQ two days ago but couldn't make it. Most of the soldiers here wear full combat gear and sunglasses outdoors and inside wear T-shirts, so name tags are hard to see. But I'm willing to bet the guys with the grill are from Wisconsin, friendly guys.

One of the most interesting things to experience on patrol is the radio traffic. On a recent patrol I heard several reports of explosions in the area. The follow on traffic usually has location of the blast, request for casuality status and pending action. I've often heard people say that soldiers always believe things like "It won't happen to me, it's always the other guy". I don't feel that's true here, in fact for me it's just the opposite. I always think "Wow, that could've been me, I was in that very same area just yesterday," And I think alot of guys here feel the same way. That's probably why the guys on the FOB are so easy going, because we all think "Is today the day?"

On one recent patrol I heard the name Mohamid Abbas Shuty over the radio. The name was the same as some of our interpreters so it was easy to remember. This man had been gunned down in a local village by six men in two vehicles ( a drive by ). Three days later I learned he had died from wounds sustained on the day of the shooting. I never knew the guy but realize another Iraqi has died in the pursuit of democracy. We also hear the various units from all over Iraq passing through our sector on their way to points unkown, although many are going to LSA Anaconda. The biggest supply place in Iraq.

On another patrol we stopped outside a village and just listened to the prayers from the local Mosque. One of the five pillars of Islam is to pray five times a day and the loud speakers from the Mosque lead the prayers. We do this because often times refrence and guidance are given in relation to the Coalition forces. We can't stay too long because the children always find us and will just stand close to us until they recieve "mangaria", it's at these times when it can be dangerous for everyone concerned but there's not alot we can do other then just leave.

There have been some comments about my "Remfs and Poges" blog I'd like to address. I understand we all have a jobe to do and it wasn't meant to humiliate any group but to illustrate what we, particularly GRUNTS, tend to feel about other groups in the military. It's just one of many frames of mind set. The EOD guys are the most valued asset in Iraq (explosive ordinance disposal) and the medics are the ones that make sure the wounded see their families again. The list goes on and so does the tradition of REMF calling.

One last thing on listening to radio traffic while on patrol. The worst thing to hear other than Americans hurt is when children are being evacuated to the Hospital. I've heard it several times and will hear it several more I'm sure, and will never get used to it.

The recent temprature has been in the high 120's and will get hotter. We are always soaking wet and a little smelly but what can we do ? We get laundry service twice a week and have four uniforms each. Some guys wash their clothing in a bucket outside but what's the point when you're filthy whithin hours. No one on O'Oryan has indoor plumbing and all of us have to use Porta-pottys. Don't think we all won't be gratful for hometown bathrooms and beds, and some home cooked food. Hopefully O'Ryan will have new tenants soon.

On a recent visit to the Internet bunker I got a little suprise. I had just arrived to the bunker and had not been inside for more than five seconds when we heard a lound and sharp BOOM!, quickly followed by a second. The Seargent in charge and myself quickly put on our combat gear and ventured oustside. We didn't see any smoke or flames but did see several other people from nearby bunkers doing exactly what we did. We went back inside then heard five or six Booms in succesion, out-going counter battery fire. Not more than five minutes passed when an Officer stuck his face in the bunker and yelled out, "Hey you guys gets your gear on and report back to your units, we're under attack that was INCOMING". "Incoming" is the term used by soldiers to indicate that explosives are being fired or dropped inside your posistion and one had better get under cover quickly.

Later we were told some Anti-coaltion elements had fired a few rockets inside our posistion and we quickly identified the source and sent back our regards "Outgoing". We didn't hit them either, they were seen in the act but quickly ran. The rockets had landed a few hundred meters from my posistion and there it is, luck and timing, when your numbers up, your numbers up and there's no point worrying about it.

A few more odds and ends worth mentioning. We have been told that if any one of us accidently shoots another soldier that we will be prosecuted for involuntary manslaughter, that could mean ten or fifteen years in military prison. Everyone here carries weapons and bullets and those of us that leave the wire have bullets chambered and ready to fire, this is on order. It is by nature very dangerous and every precaution should be taken to avoid accidents. However I find it disturbing that this warning is coming from people that allowed my former commander, a Colonel, attack and choke another Officer and yet only got transferred to Bagdad. Had I or any other low level person done the same thing we would've gotten at least ten years in prison. As a matter of fact I recently read in the "Stars and Stripes" where an Officer fired his weapon by accident, wounded another Officer and only recieved a warning. Some people call this Hypocracy I call it the National Guard.

It recently got up to one hundred and twenty dgrees and will get hotter, most of us on O'Ryan try to stay inside as much as possible but this is an operational FOB and the work must get done. One nice thing about the FOB life is that we get DVDs for about $2.50 each. I just watched "Million dollar baby" and only paid three bucks.

We get plenty of fluids here and ice, it's justthat the fluids are so high in sugar.
And the breakfast is always the same scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage,potatoes (fried) and waffles. Cereals are available and juice there just in little boxes. Dinners getting pretty boring now it seems we are on a four days rotation of entrees. The days of Lobster and Sundaes at Anaconda are long gone.

Here at O'Ryan there's basically three types of soldiers. "Corn fed" from Wisconsin, "Good ol boys" from Tennesse and the "Hula boys" from Hawaii. And I must mention the mongrels like myself that were thrown in to fill manpower shortages, we come from everywhere else. It is very easy to indentify who is from where, one could cheat and just look at the shoulder patch but it's easier to just look at the person. As I said the Midwest boys are beefy and getting beefier everyday, I mean that in the healthy way, alot of gym time. The "Good ol Boys" from Tennesse have a very sharp sense of humor and laid back Countryfied way of getting things done. The Hula boys from Hawaii seem to be a long way from the surf of Hawaii but in a moments notice are ready for the next set. Me? I'm just along for the ride.

Recently we've been able to go on longer patrols and they are very long and usually involve alot of interaction with the local villagers. I want to mention that when I was a young Paratrooper we would go on foot patrols that could last days, here in Iraq a drive of twenty minutes is now considered a "Combat Patrol" for the reasons of awards and medals. But the patrols I've been going on last an average of ten hours and in the current heat that's plenty.

When we drive down the backroads to avoid IEDs and ambushes one of the greatest dangers is the terrain itself,terrain has always affected military tactics and always will.Because of the farmland
within our sector of responsibility there are quite a few irrigation
canals and these are the biggest threat. The roads next to these canals are very narrow and made of dirt and gravel,they also usually
slope towards the canal itself. Our Humvees are heavily armoured to protect us from bomb blast but because of this armour they are top heavy and will roll over very easily, they weigh about eleven thousand pounds. If this should happen and we roll into a canal with
just three feet of water in depth, all of us could drown to death. It's virtually impossible to get out once the vehicle is upside down. Part of the reason is that the mud is like clay and will suck the vehicle
in with a vice like grip. Since we always travel in groups there will always be other vehicles and soldiers to try and pulls us to safety, it will just take time. So we have been provided with a
means to survive submerged,in the dark upside down,in freezing water.
We have the means to survive for about ten minutes provided panic
doesn't set in and we don't come under fire while so vulnerable. it's really nerve racking driving these narrow passages with sharp turns and loose soil.

As I just mentioned another factor is the possibility of an ambush
with rockets and machine guns. The terrain is perfect for those that want to set an ambush, however the insurgents really don't have the assets to conduct such operations but it's still a possibility that we must be prepared for. The terrain greatly effects our abilility to manuever and counterattack, but the patrols must be conducted regardless of the current risk.

On the upside we do come in contact with a great number of villagers and at times seem to enjoy celebrity status. On a recent patrol through some farmland and canal roads I could see children running at a full sprint to try and catch up to us before we left the area. It's ironic that machines meant to destroy life and structures
represent so many good things to these people. It's pretty much common knowledge that almost everytime an American convoy stops and the trunk of our Humvees open out comes things like candy,stuffed animals,crackers,cookies,punch,books,pens,crayons,soda pop and so on.
It doesn't always happen put if it does and your one of the first children there the possibilities are endless, at least it seems so.

I want to thank those that sent gifts and clothing recently, they were quickly passed out. Part of the problem for me is that when two or three kids recieve a gift as many as thirty will so up in minutes. I generally try to have enough for as many as fifty but the kids don't know this and go into a frenzy to not be left out. I have to make most of them leave until the numbers are managable. One of the things the locals have learned is to tell us that they have sick or hungry babies and expect us to cave in immediatly. What I've started to do is say in Arabic " The baby's not her, I only give to those here". That kinda backfired on me, I had one lady bring out an infant of maybe four days and tried to get me to hold the baby and almost shoved it in my face. I was very upset with this woman because the baby should not have been outside in the heat, and it wasn't even her baby. I saw here grab the baby from a young mother standing nearby.

I also have noticed the socialization of the little girls in Iraq, it is clear to me that women and girls are second class citizens here and unfortunatly that is what it is. I go out of my way to get gifts to the girls but often times the boys will just take from them what they want.

I have also meet quite a few men that have shown me the physical scars of Sadaam Husseins reign of terror, some missing fingers and bearing deformity from whips,burns,cuts and bullets. It can be sickening to see up close. There is only so much we can do and we do just that, what we can.

Here some of the words or things I've learned to use on our visits to the villages.
Isma ahni - listen to me
Arja - back up
Bint - little girl
Walid - little boy
Estamur - keep going
Dobb - stuffed animal

So take care back home and take everything on the news with a grain of salt, we're doing the best we can and will try to make all of you proud to call yourselves Americans.