The weather here on the FOB is staying hot and windy right around 125 degrees is the average. We have plenty of fluids available to us and constantly drink. The only concern is the abundance of soft drinks and others with sugar and caffeine, it's very easy for me to drink ten or more sodas a day and I know it's not healthy. One of the strange things we do , or it seems strange at the time, is when we leave the wire we must put on all our protective gear regardless of the temperature. It's like we are getting ready for a hockey game, we have about forty pounds of gear from body armor, shoulder pads, gloves, knee and elbow pads, pelvic pads and more. Before we get out the gate we are soaking wet from the heat and weight. But it's definetly a labour of love, that stuff will save your skin for sure.

One of the frustrating things that we deal with is a type of dependence from the people of Iraq. On one outing we went to a village that we had supplied with a water purifier and generator to supply power to the entire village. The generator was not being used simply because they wanted the Army to supply the fuel. We just can't figure out why they can't come up with fuel in the middle east. On a personal level, I am getting a little annoyed with the Iraqi so;diers constantly asking me to help cloth and feed their kids, I do what I can but they seem to think I and others can just simply get anything they want within hours. I am trying to understand the mentality of people that lived under a dictator and economic sanctions for so long, but I just get frustrated when I can't help. And I really must mention the fact that local people are still trying to kill us and we know it.

Here's a scary example. We were on a patrol led by Iraqi soldiers when we came to a bridge that had to be crossed. Now this particular bridge has had several bombs go off in the exact same spot. The intention is not to blow up the bridge but to kill Americans, for this reason only small amounts of explosives are used. The local villagers use the bridge to conduct business. The Iraqi soldiers inspected the bridge and said it was clear to cross and as soon as we started to move towards the bridge it blew up right in front of us. The problem is that there are a number of vendors within a hundred feet of the bridge constantly and someone should have seen the explosives being placed, yet said nothing to us. And it didn't help in our level of trust with the bridge being "cleared". There were no injuries so we just did an investigation and continued with the mission.

The difficult thing for me lately has been crossing bridges. I can't seem to get back to normal and always feel like the ground below me will explode as soon as I reach the center, it's really a very anxious time for me and my heart kicks into high gear. I've had to go over that very same spot several more times and come within inches of the blast hole. This may sound silly but I always lean away from the blast hole and tuck my chin down in anticipation of the explosion. This is something that all of us here are supposed to do, be ready to meet the worst each and every day. I am growing very weary of the racing heart and impending blast. I don't want to sound overly dramatic but that is what courage is supposed to be, and I've heard it said this way "If courage is a quality that knows not fear I've never met a couragous man. For courage is a quality that forces a man, in spite of his fear, to carry on".

I've talked to other men here and the feeling is pretty much mutual, we have got to be "outside the wire" and some of us will not make it home because of this. But this is exactly what governments have soldiers for, to kill and be killed. In the hope that the more willing we are to do this the less likely others are to challenge our way of life. I know this is sounds like a very simple explanation but it is ultimatly what the military is for. I can't wait to get home and enjoy what I've left behind. But only after I've gone over that a bridge who know how many more times.