I first saw them among the hieroglyphics of obscene graffiti in the bathrooms on a base in Kuwait.
Scribbled in there with graphic cartoons and misspelled bad words were "Chuck Norris Facts" -- the War on Terrorism's version of "Kilgore was Here."
The satirical Facts first took hold on a website dedicated to Norris, but the sayings have found their true forum on walls, stalls and Post It notes in Iraq.
The facts are silly haiku about just how tough Chuck Norris is.
Last year visiting Al Anbar province he told the Stars and Stripes newspaper that his favorite was, "There is no Theory of Evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to Live."
The first one I saw was "Chuck Norris Can Believe it's Butter."
I didn't get it.
But at the time I had not yet seen the significance of Chuck "Walker, Texas Ranger" Norris.
I didn't know this almost 68 year-old television and B-movie star, who was the World Karate Welterweight Champion way back when the war was in Vietnam, held such sway.
I didn't know some young soldier had proposed renaming Iraq, "Chuckistan."
While waiting for a helicopter to I read through a list of them posted anonymously on a bulletin board.
Among them were:
"Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise."
"Chuck Norris doesn't kill two bird with one stone. He kills two stones with one bird."
"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever."
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The Tao of Chuck
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Ventura County Star Staff Writer Scott Hadly and freelance photographer James Lee Jeffreys will spend the month of July embedded with US troops in Iraq’s Anbar province. Hadly and Jeffreys will spend much of their time with Seabees from Port Hueneme’s Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 3, who are stationed at Camp Ramadi but working throughout the province. Scott will use this blog to discuss his personal experiences as an embedded reporter.
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My personal favorite:
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Hey,
Great blog. If you ever need help with technical issues call or email me.
I knew Chuck Norris jokes exploded with World of Warcraft, a video game many military members have doubtless played.
Keep it up.
Here's one: The world is round until Chuck Norris says otherwise.
Looking forward to the continued chronicle, Scott. Amazing.
Remember: Only because someone's gotta bring home credible war stories does Chuck Norris let reporters keep their lungs.
Stay safe, bro. Write well.
Wow, just found out you're doing this - you rock. "Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice."
Scott:
Take care over there. P.S. Chuck Norris is rumored to be contemplating voting for Obama. Ha, Ha. Just kidding.
Chuck Norris isn't funny. Stop laughing.
Keep up the good work Scott and come home safe.