"Red Letter Days," you know - the ones that are marked in red on the calendar. The weekends, the holidays, the commemorative days. As a Navy wife there certainly are a few red letter days...homecoming is one, a birthday or anniversary actually celebrated together is another.

But then there are those days that are definitely not red-letter days. The day the car broke down, an appointment was missed and your sailor is deployed - not a 'red-letter' day. The day you 'hit the wall' with deployment...you want your Sailor home and you want them home NOW - not a 'red-letter' day. The day both kids are sick, he is deployed and you have the flu - not a 'red-letter' day.

Another non-red-letter day is the day you realize that you have hit the half-way point in sea/shore rotation...that day you have less days together as a 'normal family' than you have behind you and that sea-duty (i.e., another deployment) is fast upon you.

That day is today for me. I am sad, very sad. I love living here; I love my home and my 'adopted city.' I love having my Sailor home for dinner (ok, most nights), I enjoy not worrying about his safety on a regular basis. I love a semblance of 'normalcy'.

But today I realized we are halfway through shore duty. That means we are on our way to striking for orders. That means we will be moving - yet again. That means workups, deployment, elongated time apart...again. That means my marriage will once again be long-distance and part-time at best.

Today is not a red-letter day.

Today is the day I have to decide to be grateful for what I do have. I still have several more months together. I still have my husband coming home for dinner tonight, tomorrow night and the night after that. I can still enjoy my husband and my home.

hmmm...maybe it is a red-letter day afterall...

I just returned from a bloggers convention in Las Vegas (yup, suffering). Running concurrent with this convention was the 'Milbloggers Convention.' What a great weekend of networking and education.

I attended many seminars but one in particular left me thinking. The 'Milblogger's Spouse Roundtable' was a group of military wives, one civilian and one military spouse/parent. It was the comments of the military spouse/parent that grabbed my attention.

This panelist,Karen, is military spouse with a son who also served in the military, and deployed to combat. She spoke succinctly about the difference of facing the deployment of a spouse versus that of a son or daughter. Quoting "Atmy Wives" Karen explained that it was a 'different heart muscle,' adding, "No disrespect, and none of us would want this, but a husband can be replaced...a child cannot."

She said this with emotion...and I found a lump in my throat...

She went on to speak of the challenge of many military parents to access support (from friends, family and their respective branch of service).

I must say, I disagree with Dr Laura's position on sharing homecoming with the in-laws...I still think a married service member and their spouse need that time for them...but this military mom made me stop and think...

What do you think? Are you a military spouse with a mother-in-law wanting to 'hoard' homecoming? Are you a military parent struggling with deployment, support, connection? What is your experience, your thoughts?

I love the commissary. In our military career we've enjoyed living near some of the largest and best commissaries; Norfolk, Oceana, San Diego, award-winning Bangor, WA. I love this benefit! I love it so much I've had DeCA's nutritionist, buyers and PAO on my talk show (Navy Homefront Talk!)

Well, till we moved here...

Shortly after we moved to NBVC I noticed this commissary was 'different.' I do not shop on payday. I shop the 'mid-week' to avoid long lines and congestion. I discovered here that if I didn't shop on payday it was likely I would not be able to complete my shopping in one trip. Then I discovered shopping "on" payday didn't insure a successful trip either. To be honest, I don't want to list all the things that frustrated me about shopping at this commissary. Suffice it to say shopping this commissary challenged my love for the commissary.

Till now...

Have you noticed any changes? I sure have! Have you noticed the shelves are stocked? Have you noticed the improved organization of the 'midway'? Have you noticed happier employees? Have you noticed the improved cleanliness and tidyness of the commissary? Have you noticed cheerful cashiers? I completed my last two shopping trips - in total! That hasn't happened in 15 months.

I had to know what made the changes...so I called to speak to the store director. To be honest, I called a couple times over the past year to express my concerns and suggestions (even try to encourage) the [now former] store director. Since I called to seek improvements I am committed to also express appreciation for efforts toward a job well done. To my surprise there is a new, motivated 'interim' store director at our commissary.

I love him! When I expressed my appreciation of the tangible improvements he humbly said, "Thank you, Beth, but please give me a little more time; I've only started." Wait to you see what he has coming down the pike for patrons of the NBVC commissary. He went on to tell me if his initative to [eriodically take a truck-load sale to Pt Magu to make it more convenient for those living there. A fresh seafood bar is coming soon, and he's only just begun.

Perhaps the two most telling evidences of change is the employees...I caught one whistling and smiling while stocking the produce. I teased him a bit about his whistling and he said, "Sometimes happiness bubbles up as a whistle." When I asked why he was so happy he mentioned that he likes his job again. I also spoke to one of the stores administrative employees. She told me she was about to quit but now it is a joy to come to work.

So...if you, like me, gave up on the commissary in the past - check it out again. If you noticed the changes...what do you think? What do you want to see change? Let's let Bill know what we like, what we think would improve our commissary...sound off...

If you listen to my internet talk show for Navy spouses, Navy Homefront Talk! you know how much I appreciate USAA. I appreciate not only their financial services but their commitment to support the troops and their families.

I just learned about their latest project to support the troops and I have to tell you about it! Airing on ABC this Sunday evening, Sep 7 at 6pm Pacific (9pm Eastern), USAA presents America United in Support of Our Troops; an all-star tribute honoring our servicemembers. Among the performers and celebrities appearing will be Toby Keith, Snoop Dogg, ZZ Top, Jessica Simpson, Janet Jackson, Clint Black, comedians Carlos Mencia, Kathy Griffin and many more.

There is a long tradition of top entertainers performing for the troops [wartime or peacetime] both abroad and in the US. I may be wrong but I can't remember a previous special for the troops since the beginning of this current conflict...can you? Why do you think that is?

This two-hour TV special is sponsored by USAA. They have assembled a great line-up and I'm not going to miss it. Hope you'll check it out with me...and hey, let me know what you think...

Beth

September is a month for Chief's pinnings (and great car washes from the Chief Selectees), back-to-school and in the midst of this is a more quiet event: Ombudsman Appreciation.

I so appreciate Ombudsmen. What an amazing group of volunteers! Who else would be willing to take 4AM crisis management calls without pay? They are misunderstood, underappreciated and sometimes even maligned.

Ombudsmen are Information and Referral specialists for fellow spouses. They are a tremendous resource for 'Navy-Life' challenges as well as the official communication vehicle for command info. They are appointed by their spouse's commanding officer and serve at his pleasure.

I want to do a bit of myth-busting about ombudsmen. First, they are not the provider of various services such as baby-sitting, counselling or transportation. But they are the one to turn to as they have the inside scoop on those services and can refer you to the right place.

Sometimes Ombudsmen get a bad rap. "My ombudsman does nothing!" is a common complaint. Ombudsmen work at the pleasure and direction of the CO. So, if the CO does not want an email tree, newsletter or other such services - the ombudsman cannot do that on their own volition. May I suggest that you contact them and ask if they maintain a CinCHouse site, or other web group connection site for the command, or an email tree or newsletter. Ask to be put on all of these lists.

One other reason you may not hear from your Ombudsman is they don't know you are there! I'm serious about this! The Ombudsman is entitled to the command roster for the command - this roster gives them the list of the SAILORS of the command but NOT the spouse, parents or girlfriends. So, if your service member did not give you the Ombudsman contact information - badger them for it and contact the Ombudsman. The Ombudsman will be SO glad you did!

To the Ombudsmen who answer those phone calls 24/7, maintain that email tree, publish newsletters, support their command by supporting the families of the command - there are no words to express my gratitude. You are such an inspiration to me and many others. "Thank you" is not enough...but I want to say thank you for all that you do.

I know that there are many awesome, innovative Ombudsman across the fleet, so let me encourage you to post your message to your Ombudsman (yes, you can mention their first name and command). Also, if you have a story about how an Ombudsman helped you, encouraged you or inspired you - I want to hear about it! Tell me your story!!