I want to tell you about my friend. I'll call her Annie (not her real name). Our husbands worked at the same command and that is how Angie and I met. Angie and I shared many interests and became fast friends.

Over the months I started to notice things with Annie and her hubby that seemed 'off'. At first I couldn't put my finger on what was 'off'. It was little things...Annie was so anxious to be home to have her hubby's drink ready for him when he arrived. She seemed to feel a sense of 'indebtedness' to him for getting a new car to drive when hers died.

Annie got pregnant and she seemed to experience anxiety that I tried to chalk up to normal pregnancy jitters. But things didn't feel right. She seemed stressed when her newborn son couldn't tolerate the 'less-expensive' formula. She was emotionally affected by the price increase in diapers. It was 'little' things that I could not put my fingers on but things didn't feel right.

Annie's husband was one squared-away sailor. He was respected by his shipmates with a bright future before him.

One afternoon my husband and I visited our friends. Even though it was early in the day Annie's husband was showing signs of intoxication. His behavior was rather offensive and my husband and I decided to leave. We thought nothing more of it...till the phone rang.

Around 11pm that night the phone rang. It was Annie. I could hardly hear her. She was whispering and crying. After a bit of effort I was able to make out what she was saying, "He was choking me! I don't know what to do!"

I asked her to call the MA's (they lived in base housing) and that we'd be over ASAP. She made it very clear she feared calling the authorities. She said, "He'll take the baby and I'll never see him again. He'll kill me if the command knows..." Click, the phone went dead.

My friend was a victim of domestic violence. That night marked the beginning of my journey of learning how to be a friend, a support to a DV victim. Many of us may have friends, neighbors or family members who are living in abusive relationship. Some of us may not realize the full extent, we just know things 'aren't quite right'. For others, you know it is happening but do not know what to do, what resources are available, what confidential help is provided by the Navy (and all services) and what incredible programs are available.

Please join me this week on Navy Homefront Talk my internet talk show for military spouses as we talk about Domestic Violence and how to help our friends. William Fenton, Chief of Clinical Services at the San Diego FFSC will join me to talk about recognizing and understanding DV and perhaps more importantly, how to help a friend in an abusive relationship.

The show airs live tonight at 6pm (Pacific). The podcast will be available on demand following the live broadcast. To listen to Navy Homefront Talk logon to www.blogtalkradio.com/nht. Live chat is available during the show or you can call in to ask questions. Please join us for this important topic.