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November 04, 2006

Half a Conversation From a Singles Dating Site: Searching for Ms. Right or is that Correct?

Glad you liked the response. You lucked out; Im on the way out of
this singles mania. It's all the same. We come here out of
desperation. There is no other reason. Not deep insane desparation.
It's a new desparation with goals, criteria, and rules for us. We want
what we want. No doubt. Why not? Why put up with bullshit, with lies,
with the other person who, eventually, is using you as a stepping
stone to the next level of love. We all want a love who shows the
better part of our being. Not an equal. Not a competitor. So it goes.
I'm thinking about a story about an old man who finds a way to seduce
a young intelligent artist type. Do our dreams manifest themselves to
reality? Not really. I know that. But,. it really makes me feel good
to hear your words. no matter what. You are very attractive.

I never said I knew what was right or even correct? I love to judge
the situation or comment on it at the least. What fun. Who are these
people that keep coming into our lives like me to you? See, I'm
already hooked on you but with reservations. I know the probable
outcome, just like you do. But still, here I am. I like the wordy
bullshit, the banter and after three beers, I'll cast all of reality,
good sense and all the other stuff aside and just sit here and write.

Listen, of course I'd like to talk on messenger with you. I'm old,
your'e young, you look good, my ego is boosted, i'm flattered..let's
get it on. Aside from all that, I love to fantacize like all the rest
of us here. I fantacize about the lottery too especially when it's up
there. There again, I've always wondered if fantacizing is destructive
or not. Does it take away time from real life. Does it meddle in
relationships..real relationships? The reality will have a hard time
being realized if it gets so far out, nothing can live up to it.
That's sort of what I see here on these singles sites.

Lots of folks here do the chat thing, do the posting to the forums
etc.; god what a boring life it must be. Where are all these close
friends in your own home town?
I did the same thing last night. I went to Phil Brady's for comedy
night. I talked with total strangers...but it's in person. Totally
different. Body language etc you know. And later I was thinking...I
actually improved my banter by writing here on this site. So maybe it
does have worth. Maybe maybe maybe....

I had bongo drums, poetry and the lotus position back in the late
fifties in Jr. High. Venice beach was only an hours drive along
Ventura hiway alternate (followed the coastline) and the Los Angeles
Times wrote about the beatnik's protesting police violence. When I was
in New York City, I met one of those Santa Monica beatniks who now
lives in the Santa Maria area of Calif. When I had just turned 21, she
and a few other pre hippie radicals changed this middle class beaver
cleaver boy like the first scene with the cow's eye in the film " The
Andalusian Dog" by Dali and Bunuel.

I met Ginsburg, Sari Deines, Stan Vanderbeek, John Cage, Warhol, Tim
Leary and others during my stay there. A fan of Keroac? Without the
heroin, without his demons, I'm a gypsy. Does that relate?

No heroin but I did leave this world temporarily on a huge ball of
fresh soft hash from the mountains of Mexico. I heard someone in the
distance say: "Do you think we should take him to the hospital?".
Being so far outside the reality universe, I couldn't talk. Some old
time artists who'd survived the junk scene, said,"Leave him alone, the
hospital will really kill him".

On the road for sure. I dream of settling down someday. I'm not sure
if he thought that way. For me, once I'd tasted life outside the box,
there was no turning back. There were times I felt crazy; I mean
really crazy. At times I wished I'd have been a CPA. But I have no
regrets and the synapsis' have dug such deep trails, I'm pretty much
stuck in outer space.

Steve temporarily in Baton Rouge