Ron Artest sat down at the microphone and asked, "Where's TMZ? They're not here? That's good news."
From there, he was off and running at Wednesday's press conference, his Lakers debut after signing a contract late Tuesday. I'm still not sure his signing is a good idea, but I liked what he had to say enough to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has, in fact, matured, until he shows otherwise.
Here are a few highlight from the press conference including more complete versions of some of the answers referenced in my Thursday column:

How does he feel about joining the Lakers?
"This was a long time coming, so to speak. I always wanted to be a Laker -- not coming out of college; I wanted to be a Knick -- but as I grew and I started to compete against the Lakers and against Kobe, and just grew that respect for him, I always wanted to be a teammate of him. ...
"For the last couple of years, in the back of my mind, I've really wanted to be here. I've definitely put my team in first, in Sacramento or Houston, but when I had the opportunity to come here -- obviously, the team I started out with this year, the Houston Rockets, you wanted to show them some loyalty and give them the first option, just out of loyalty, knowing that being in L.A. is bigger, more opportunities for me.
"When the Lakers called at 12:01, I was surprised. I was talking to my wife first, then talked to my agent, and he said Mitch (Kupchak) called. I said, for what? He said, he wants to help you get a ring, and I was totally shocked and surprised."

On Kobe Bryant's reported comment that he's not sure the Lakers are a better team with Artest, and whether he has to win Bryant over:
"I've got to win myself over first. I've got to make sure I'm doing everything possible this summer to come back a better player, and when I know I gave 100 percent, I know it's not going to be a problem winning the team over. Because I know I'm coming in in tip-top condition, like I always do, every season. Mentally, I'll be focused, so that won't be hard.
But it's not a given. He's right. It's not a give that just 'cause you add me to the team that we're going to be the No. 1 team. You've got to put that work in. And that's something I'm not afraid to do. That's something I know the guys are not afraid to do."

On what adjustments he'll have to make to his game:
"Just do what Coach asks. That's it. There's really no adjustment. If you know how to play the game of basketball, it will be easy.
"When I played last year in Houston, we had T-Mac and Yao" -- Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming -- "in the beginning, and everybody thought it wouldn't work. And it was my contract year, also, so they thought I was going to try to average 20. But I just wanted to win. I could have took extra shots and tried to average 20-plus, but that's not what's going to get the wins.
"It's just do what coaches ask, and follow Kobe's lead, you know, and be right there to help lead when I have to."

On Lamar Odom, his one-time AAU teammate:
"I've played with him since I was like 8,9 years old. That's like my brother. So I would love to play with my brother. But we've got to see what happens. ...
"I always knew he'd get a championship before me. He always does. Even in high school. He always does. So I know mine is coming now. I'm glad he got his out of the way."

What does he have to do to keep his temper from being an issue?
"Well, I think last year, that wipes that whole question out.
"Last year, I was real productive. Think about it: Last year, I was in my contract year, and I needed to probably average a lot of points to get a big contract, and that was not on my mind. I was totally focused on winning. ... As you can see, probably once again I'm underpaid, but it's OK.
"At the end of the day, if you can't win on $33 million, then you can't live. ... I'm even more grateful now to have this opportunity for me and my family."

On his interest in music -- he's produced albums, had his own label, and released a (little noticed) rap CD:
"Before, when I was younger, when I was in Indiana, I would promote a lot, my music, and I did it the wrong way. It took away from my game. I was spending too much time doing the music and trying to push that instead of focusing on my game. ...
"I love to entertain and I love to have fun, and being in L.A., I think that will be easier to that part of me across to the people and have some fun. ... They love to have fun out here, and I love to do music, so that will be any easy transition for me. And my priorities are straight now. I know I've got to work out and play ball first, and then everything else comes second."

On media scrutiny:
"Feel free to write what you want. It doesn't bother me.
"Especially going through the brawl and that whole incident, you know. For the most part I'm good hearted, and I understand that the media, they have to get their stories across sometimes. And sometimes it's at the expense of Ron Artest. And I understand that now. Being who I am and what I've been through, and certain wrong decisions that I've made, so I understand that anything I do, good or bad, sometimes, it can have a spin to the story.
"And I encourage the media sometimes to write whatever they want, bad or good. Because if they're going to put money in their pocket, then cool, I'm happy. They've got a job to do. I don't mind."

On the source of his intensity:
"I mean, 10 years in the league and no ring. Everybody thinks they're the best. I think I'm the best, and that's how you've got to feel when you're a player. You've got to feel that nobody's better than you.
"And if you don't got a ring, you've got guys like LeBron going to the championship, I've never been there, and now playing with Kobe, Kobe's got four rings, I have none. Even Lamar, that's my friend but we were always competitive, he has a ring, I have none. I've got to have one. I need one, bad."

On fitting in:
"I don't have a problem with deferring if it's working. I don't have a problem with not scoring a point if we're winning. That's what's important. ... You win, that's all that's important."
(A reporter noted that was exactly what Lamar Odom likes to say.)
"That's what Lamar says? He told me to say that. He said you'll love me if I say that. Really, I want to average 50."