St. Peter's square scenes Lauren in St. Peter's square Lauren holding a candle Maneuvering the crowded square Crowds reflected Lauren's sunglasses

We did it! We attended the Pope's funeral. I wasn't sure if we would be able to, people had been discouraged from going to St Peter's for the funeral, I think the "administration" here was worried about possible security and safety issues. We were told that making it into St. Peter's would be "impossible" (a typical response to a plethora of questions asked over here). We were all encouraged to got to the stadium, circus maximus, or one of the various piazzas to watch the funeral on screens they had set up in each location. So when Sam insisted we could make it in, and that we should camp out to do so, I had my doubts. but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to try.

After class all day and a trying walk/metro ride home, I changed, grabbed an apple, and at about 7:30 p.m. headed out with Sam. The two of us went to figure it out and to stake out a place for some of the others in our program who were meeting us later. we walked as close to St Peter's as we could. People were already camping out, tents and all.

We wandered around, Sam (who has lived here for 3 years and came speak Italian) asked the police where we should go, it took us awhile to get some sort of helpful information, but once we did, we took out a place in Piazza di Risorgimento, in the intersection of a cross street that leads to Saint Peter's. We were literally just sitting on the asphalt. My second night this week sleeping in the streets of Rome.

The Piazza and streets were packed, there was little or no space to walk. Everyone was huddled together, sitting and lying practically one on top of another trying to stay warm. We were laying down in one of the primary Polish camps. For awhile I forgot where we were. We were surrounded by Polish flags, Polish songs and chants, and Polish Poles. At one point, they got into a shouting match with the pilgrims from Spain who were camped out nearby.

Eventually, my roommate Emily met us, along with our friend Stephanie (Moreno-Aguilar). Luckily, some people had just moved so they could sit with us. Emily was smart and brought a blanket. Sam and I used my backpack as a pillow, and the Polish man next to me shared some of his mat and blanket with me. They had shared their Polish sausage with us earlier. The atmosphere was very communal, even though we didn't speak the same language, there was this uniting feeling that we were all there for the same reason.

We laid there from 8 p.m. until 4 a.m. or so, trying to sleep, but mostly just talking. we were all delirious. It was Thursday night, I had only gotten 8 hours of sleep since Tuesday, Sam was running on 5 hours since Tuesday, and Emily had only slept a little more than me. It was a surreal night. It should have been miserable, but it was surprisingly positive.

At 4 a.m., all of the Poles got really excited for some reason. They all packed up and stood up, starting to move toward the barricades where they would eventually let us into move toward the Square. But they weren't letting us in until 5 a.m. or 6 a.m., which in Italy means 6:30 a.m.-ish. but there was no way for the Italians in charge to explain this to them, they shouted orders in Italian, but this had no effect. So eventually, we had to stand as well, we had continued to lay down, but it just wasn't safe in the middle of a pushing crowd. So we spent between 4 a.m. and 6:30 or so standing, smashed, and stagnant.

Once they finally started to let us in, it took a frustrating 2 hours to finally make it into the square. Lines, on any scale, are non existent in Italy, so crowds turn into pushing herds. Va bene, we eventually made it in and claimed a space at about 8:30 a.m. We spread our blanket out and slept until mass started. The square was packed, the crowd was alive, trembling, everyone was so exhausted, but so grateful just to be there.

Flags from all over the world peppered the sea of people, the red and white Polish flag outnumbered any other by at least 10-1. All of the Polish flags had a black ribbon tied at the top, a sign of mourning for It Papa.

Mass was three hours long, very official, but broken with applause, cheering, and chanting from the crowd. But this time the chants and songs weren't only in Italian. Polish, German, Spanish, and English could also be made out in the din. It was such a surreal experience. Everyone was so joyful and thankful to be there, but then so so sad at the same time. Again, I had to pinch myself, I can't believe that I got to be there. It was incredible.

Once mass ended we all went home to catch up on some sorely missed sleep. It was over. I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed by the amount of emotion still resonating from the hoards of people there to support and mourn Giovanni Paolo Segundo. I felt relieved that it was over, but also sad, tired, changed and deeply touched. It was an experience and a feeling that I will most likely never be able to fully describe.

Rome has quieted down, so the people and media have left. Life is returning to a form of normalcy, well as normal as it ever is here. Yesterday evening, Sam and I walked through St. Peter's Square. The makeshift shrines and memorials were still there, along with a small gathering of people.

Sam pointed out that even though the media is gone, and for most of the world this chapter of history has closed, for these people, and scattered groups everywhere, it isn't over. They will continue to come to this spot to light and relight candles, to read and add letters.

One day, when I come back to Rome, I will be able to show those burnt stones to my children, I will tell them that I was here when those spots were made, and just how significant they are.

I Love and miss you all.

Baci,
Lauren