Ciao a Tutti,

So I have been home for about three weeks now, and am still in the midst of reverse culture shock and reverse homesickness. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing like sleeping in the comfort of your own bed, I just wish that my own bed were in Rome. Everything that was once so familiar now feels so different, whats more, I feel different. My time in Rome feels like this beautiful dream that I've just woken up from, almost like I blinked and ended up right where I was before, except ... changed. It's kinda like the twilight zone.

It is weird not seeing my roommates everyday. We lived on top of each other for 6 months, so not knowing what they are doing every second of every day is very weird. Va Bene, as soon as school starts the three of us will be living in the same city together again so I think that we will be fine.

My last few days in Rome were bittersweet (that seemed to be the theme for my last month in Europe). I was so happy to be in Rome, it felt so right, I felt like I had finally made it home. I stayed in a single room in Residence Candia, where I had lived during the program. It was really sad to be there by myself actually, and very strange to be there but not to be in my apartment, or ... what was my apartment. Even though I missed my roomies and my friends, I wasn't intimidated by being in Rome alone. It was kinda nice actually, I got the chance to do whatever it was that I wanted and to say goodbye to all my favorite places.

My first evening back in Roma after Budapest was spent wandering around Prati, my neighborhood in Roma. I looked into the little stores and sifted through the bins set out by the street vendors. I thought about the wine bar my roommate Emma loved, about the all night bakery Sam, Em, Bri and I used to go when we were putting off sleep, and about the small park/ play ground that Sam showed us. It's amazing because just above the park's enclosing wall you can see the Dome of St. Peter's rising above my apartment building. You don't realize how big it is until you are far away from it, then it just looks huge. I went to L'Alter Ego Cafe, my favorite Tea room in the city and wrote in my journal for a really long time. Then I went to an Internet cafe. I was on my way back to the residence when I decide to get gelato. I went to Millennium, this place right next to the residence, it's what everyone in the program practically survived on. It was the most random thing, I ran into my friend and neighbor from my freshman year at UCSD. She had been studying in another Italian city, and was staying at my residence for the night. I almost fainted when I saw her. I spent the rest of the night talking about Italy with her and her friends.

The next day I woke up REALLY early. It was my last full day in Roma. I went to the Vatican that morning. There wasn't a line and I slipped in with a tour group. I spent hours there, I looked at everything I could, and then I went through a second time. It was all so amazing, tapestries, statues, frescoes, paintings, artifacts, the Sistine Chapel. It blows me away even now. The Sistine Chapel is a very surreal place to be. It is a large cavernous space, packed with people cramming their necks to look at the ceiling, while Italian guards yell at everyone (in Italian) to be quiet and respectful. But the frescoes are absolutely breath taking. I was really startled by how big, and bold they are. The colors and figures leap out of the wall, they seem three dimensional. I couldn't believe I was standing there, I stayed there for a good long while. After I went through the museums, I went to St Peter's. It was really hot and muggy in Rome all through the end of May. I wore a lot of tanks, but you can't go into any church, let alone one connected to the Vatican, with bare shoulders, so I got in the habit of carrying a wrap with me. Some tourists don't know this, and try to get into St. Peter's, but they won't let you. They won't even let in a Dad with long shorts on. There was a very large group of upset Americans outside of the Basilica. I walked through the whole place, trying to make a picture of it that would last. I went down below the church and saw the tomb of St. Peter himself, and the tombs of the Popes,
including the tomb of Il Papa, GP Due.

After St. Peter's, I walked to Il Castel St. Angelo, over the Tiber, andthrough the back alleys of Rome to Piazza Nevona. I love the alleys in Rome. That's where you really feel like you are roaming through an Italian city. They are cobble stoned, vine-covered, and crowded with shops and cafes. For a while I watched a group of old men play chess on the patio of a ristorante. I walked through Piazza Nevona, looked at Bernini's "The Four Rivers," and bought a "Pace" (peace) flag. Then I made my way to the Pantheon, one of my most favorite places in the city, I sat inside for a while, and then I sat by the obelisk in the center of the Piazza and wrote in my journal some more. Then I got a cafe at Tazo d'Oro (the best espresso in Rome) and had a long conversation with the man who works there (in Italian). I walked through the alleys toward the Trevi Fountain, I stopped to listen to some street performers and ducked into a few shops. My school had been right in that area, so that walk from the Pantheon to the Trevi Fountain was very familar. That's what I did when I had breaks between classes. It was soo odd and sad to know that that was the last time I would walk there for who-knows-how-long. I stayed at the fountain for a long time, just drinking it in. They say that if you throw a coin in the fountain, backward over your shoulder, then you will return to Rome. So I did, punto, I'm going back. After, I walked toward Via Del Corso (the main shopping street). I stopped into a church I'd never been in before and lit a candle. Then I walked down the crowded Via Del Corso, I people watched, shopped, and went to the Spanish steps. I stayed for a bit, and then took the metro home. My last metro ride in Rome. My old routine was quickly becoming a novelty.

I made a few calls at the phone center, and then walked to the restaurant where I had eaten out with my friends on the night before I left for Dublin. I got Pizza and took it to eat in my room. My first dinner in Rome was exactly the same as my last, kinda funny. The next morning is a blur. I packed, walked to a a bancomat (Italian ATM), and got break fast (cappuccino e un cornetto) at "my" cafe (the one where I had my first Italian cappuccino with my roommate on our first morning), then I checked out, and cried in a taxi on my way to the air port, even so, I was able to carry on a conversation with the driver.Getting through the air port with ALL my stuff, by my self, was a bit of a disaster, but somehow I made it. Then, I was flying. First to London, and then to LAX. Sigh.

Italy changed me a lot. All a wanted to do was stay. I knew that I wouldn't be able to fit seamlessly back into my old life. I am different, I have grown, and I think that my life from here on out, or at least how I choose to live it, will reflect that. I experienced things that no one at home will ever really understand, and that I'll never be able to fully explain. I feel stronger, self assured, and independent in a way I never have before. I got a taste of the world and now all I want is more. I feel like I woke up, actually woke up, in Rome. Va Bene, more will come.

Before I left, the French woman who worked at the front deck said something which really struck me. She said that the Italians may not be the most "refined" or educated people in the world, not stiff like the (stereotypical) French or English, but that they truly knew how to live. They talk loudly, they laugh loudly, they eat pasta and cheese, they drink bottles and bottles of wine, They eat gelato when it's freezing outside. They are warm and generous. She told me that I only had this one life, so if I wanted to talk loudly and to laugh loudly - then I should. It might me cliche, but her words really touched me.

So I plan to talk and laugh loudly - and go back to Rome first chance I get.

Love you all. Ciao for now.

Baci baci,
Lauren