My wife is a crack head. She eats sunflower seeds by the bushel -- cracking, chewing, always cracking. I guess that means she eats like a bird.
It's not the seed she's after: It's the salt. My wife craves salt the way fire craves oxygen. Nutrition Facts say that her sunflower seeds contain eight grams of sodium per bag, enough to dry up Lake Casitas.
I've tried everything to stop her. I've hidden her stash, lectured her, downloaded pictures of withered arteries. I even made up a story about how the Morton Salt girl died of sodium overdose. Yet my wife keeps on cracking.
If you or someone you love is a crack head, please act now. Don't let it spiral out of control the way I have. The other day I found under the couch a bowl of gnawed-on sunflower shells. My wife denied it with the conviction of O.J.
"Those are definitely, one hundred percent, absolutely not my shells."
After much ado, I convinced my wife to wean herself from the habit. We are going to start slowly, with something that contains slightly less sodium. A salt lick, perhaps.
The pictures are a nice touch!
You could always switch her regular seeds with the new jalapeņo ones...it would burn her taste buds right off & then her salt fix would be unfixable of course if she puts you in traction for it I claim no responsibility;]
I agree the pictures are a nice touch. They, and the blog item, remind me of my wife's own habit, about which I've been nagging her. She bites her fingernails and spits out the remains. Looks just the car-interior photo.
http://blogs.venturacountystar.com/vcs/dennert/
I write a blog for the star also. mostly about politics, but i do have contests.
welcome and i hope you enjoy your blogging here.
brian
ps- typepad has a way where all comments must wait to be approved, but that slows stuff down.
how 'bout bill gates hires bounty hunters to go after these spammers?
Crackheads of the world unite! Fight against the anti-salt oppressors! I'd type more, but it gets in the way of my spitting the shells out (I use an old cup instead of a bowl!). Loved the entry! You've got a wonderful sense of the irony of the world!
K