Re: Jim Lane’s March 18 commentary, “Can you feel the power?”:

I couldn’t agree more with Lane on the importance of personal power. When children are intrinsically motivated, they tend to do the right thing, and often they exceed expectations, even when no one is watching.

Unfortunately, I believe there are a number of things parents and teachers do, with the best of intentions, to encourage external motivation and let internal motivation languish. Among these are sticker charts, rewards for reading, taking away privileges and spanking. Even praise is often handed out like candy, teaching children that their goal should be to win the approval of others. These are techniques used to manipulate children into behaving the way we adults think they should behave.

Are children being raised to chase the carrot and run away from the stick? Many people believe external motivators “work” because they produce the desired behaviors in the short- term. In the long term, however, children grow into adults who bend to the will of others – just as they have been taught to do – whether right or wrong.

I know it is hard to raise children without relying on behaviorism. But there are alternatives, such as involving children in setting rules and discussing the reasons behind those rules; guiding children to solve their own problems; allowing natural consequences to teach; empathizing with children and appreciating their perspectives; and commenting specifically on what children have done well, while helping them to rely on their own feelings of pride and self-worth as motivation.

I believe that children are capable of great things in an environment of mutual respect. I also believe that, as hard as it might be, adults are capable of providing loving and respectful guidance to children without relying on external motivators.

— Roni Hooper, Camarillo