On my website is a guestbook where people sign in and say hey. We have a good time and, outside the innuendo, nobody gets hurt.

In recent days, though, spammers have come to graffiti the guestbook 15 times a day. It's not enough to be stalked by voicemail, email, and postal mail; now we're being molested by website.

I'm not sure what to do about it. So far I've tried yelling at the world and punching the monitor.

My wife's computer doesn't work at all. She went online without protection, so now she has a virus. Every time she boots up, Yahaira is shelled with pop-up ads until Windows finally crashes. Experts say that she can either reformat the hard drive or keep getting The Big Blue Screen of Death.

The virus is called AdDestroyer, a program that installs itself on your computer then promises to protect you from the same danger that the program itself imposes. Reminds me of a certain presidential administration.

The Internet was supposed to transform communication, bringing humans to a new level of understanding; but as with TV, the revolution was tempered by the ongoing movement of advertisers to suck our soul out through the eyeballs.

In the time it took to write this, two new spams have appeared in my guestbook. And somewhere in the distance God is shaking his head saying, "They just can't have nice things, can they?"