My wife is an actress. She appears at times in programs, on commercials, and, with or without an audience, inside our living room. One night she performed Chorus Line in its entirety, complete with top hat and fishnet.

And that's the point -- actors don't know when to stop. It's part of their hormonal imbalance. Yahaira spends entire days talking in a British accent and causes scenes in public "just to see what happens."

One time she told me that her niece was in the hospital -- a true story -- and when I laughed, she smacked me. Hard. It's like living with the boy who cried Virginia Wolfe.

Song is breaking out in my kitchen even as we speak, Yahaira and her spatula microphone. To flee or not to flee -- THAT is the question.