Tensions flared recently when a landlord rejected his would-be renter for owning a dog. The renter, who is not from this planet but is definitely American, responded, of course, by filing a lawsuit.

Exhibit A: A note from applicant's doctor stating, quote, "Patient must own a dog as part of her treatment for acute depression."

While some lawsuits protest chauvinism against color or creed, this courageous woman is fighting the more insidious evil of dog prejudice. She and her anti-depressant retriever are living inside the house of said landlord, much to his hypertension. Even now Pookie is clawing his way through the hardwood floor just to see what's there.

I myself am glad for this lawsuit, because you know what makes me really depressed? Paying the mortgage...