In my home are seven phones: two personal, two business, two cell, one fax. My computer also has talking email, which is -- and correct me if I'm wrong here -- THE SAME AS A PHONE.

Every night before sleep, I turn off all the ringers, each one to its good-night sound. One says in a sultry, bedroom voice, "Thank you." I call that Creepy Phone.

You have to be vigilant about turning off ringers because there's always someone who wakes up at dawn and feels that this is normal behavior. And that others are doing the same.

Yesterday my mom called at 5:30 a.m. and left a message on the answering machine, which I had failed to turn off for the first time ever.

"Hi, son. I'm getting ready for work and just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you."

She's so sweet.

I'm going to tell her when I call her back at midnight.