Turns out that in certain faraway parts of the world -- Alaska -- people have been peddling reindeer gallbladders as tonic for, um, unleavened reproductive organs. They, the erectile technicians, sell the gallbladder to men slightly less intelligent than the reindeer themselves.

Who discovered this potion anyway? Who was so frantic that he thought to drink the gallbladder juice of reindeer? Seal kidney ... nothing. Whale dung ... nothing. Reindeer gallbladder ... EUREKA!

It supports my theory that men will do anything to be firm, even if it takes rigor mortis.

And who would have guessed Viagra to save the day? As gallbladder potion is replaced by, "stiffer competition," reindeer are free to hold on their organs and go back to hating Rudolph...

"They should have called him Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer."

Alaska's reindeer have united in their love of Pfizer and have been buying up supplies by the silo. By next Christmas, they'll definitely be able to point out where the naughty girls live.